He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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