Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize