That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
