I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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