well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
