ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
