he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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