I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize