He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
