I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
