better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
