She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
