I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
