I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
where am i from again
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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