I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
