Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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