I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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