Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
