I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
