Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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