Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
