i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
