Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This house was built for laser tag.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize