I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize