I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
