you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
