I am puke
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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