is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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