hell yes lets make some ravioli
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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