you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
