Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
