thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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