I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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