i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize