meet me or not, i'm out of control
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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