My brain says no but my pants say off.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
