UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
