I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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