Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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