im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
