You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
