party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
