I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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