I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
