Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dicks are not precious.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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