can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize