3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
