found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
