The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize