Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
