watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.