Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
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The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow