I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.