I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me