she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize