dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
